Imagine you had a terrible day in the office. You got into a conflict with your boss, which further led to a heated argument. Exhausted, with a sullen mood, you leave for home. After reaching to the society, you realise there is no electricity. Agitated, you unlock the door. The house is drunk in darkness. You pull out the mobile phone to switch on the torch, but the battery is dead. Your blood starts boiling.
अगर आप यह ब्लॉग हिंदी में पढ़ना चाहते हैं, तो यहाँ क्लिक करें ।
Abusing the electricity board, you start searching for candles and a matchbox. Simultaneously, you are playing ‘the estrangement episode with the boss’ over and over again in your head. And suddenly your toe hits the table; you sit down crying in pain. You start wondering, “What is happening in life these days? I am tired of living this way, with my job. And my boss is crushing the life out of me. Hunt for a second job is not going well too. My life is going down south, like Sherman! I am fed up with everything.”
Now, take a moment and think, “Will reacting to the saga increase or decrease your pain?” Processing the dispute in such a fashion will intensify or diminish the negativity of the episode? Will these thoughts and feelings create a world of joys or sorrows for you?
Let us analyse with another example. One beautiful morning Daniel’s five to six friends arrive at his house, requesting him and his wife to accompany them for trekking. Daniel was in no mood to go out of the house as he had to send a few important emails and buy groceries for the home. So he refused to go for the trek. But his friends were not ready to take ‘no’ for an answer. They said, “If you both do not join us for the trip, we will stay here today.” Eventually, he gives in to their request and sets out for trekking with his wife.
After travelling for a few hours, they reach in the lap of nature. Wandering around, they soak in the beauty of the hills, breathing fresh air, appreciating the nature joking and playing around with everyone. They were enjoying their hike, moving forward to a cave when suddenly Daniel and his wife slipped and fell into a ten feet pit. Both were injured. Bleeding wound and in pain. With tremendous efforts, their friends pulled them out.
Daniel began to yell, “I told you I don’t want to come. I’m disgusted with the trek. I think I might have fractured my leg. The pain is excruciating. God! Why did I even agree to accompany them!” he started cursing his friends.
On the other hand, his wife calmly began to contemplate. She said, “I am far away from the city. While hiking, I have hurt my leg, probably fractured it. I am unable to breathe properly. Firstly, I need to absorb the moment and breathe slowly. Such accidents keep happening in life. Today I am experiencing it.”
What is the difference between the way Daniel and his wife handled the situation?
Daniel reacted with anger, remorse, and sorrow.
But his wife responded in the situation. Perhaps his wife was equally troubled, yet she dealt it with openness, acceptance, and love.
Both are suffering. On a physical level, both are experiencing the same intensity of pain. However, mentally there is a vast difference in their distress. Who will be hurting more, mentally? Amongst both, who will lead a better life? Which of the two will we be able to solve the problems created in life effortlessly?
To transform our lives, we must change our course of response. We cannot change what happens to us, but we can change how we react to the situation. The essence of our being, our future, lies in the very same reaction.
Hence, in Mindfulness, we become conscious of our reactions. Instead of focusing on the past or future, we learn to live in the present. We cultivate curiosity and excitement for the events happening in the present moment. There is no prejudice for people or actions in this process. We welcome everything with an open heart. We develop the attitude of acceptance and view every episode with warmth and love.
So will you indulge in life with curiosity, enthusiasm, without any discrimination, and with an open heart?
We will discuss more on Mindfulness in the next blog.
Hope you enjoyed reading this blog! Do share it with your near & dear ones. Let’s meet at the next Blog. Till then…….
‘Enjoy Your Life & Live with Passion!’
(This blog is originally written in Hindi by the Master Trainer Mranal Gupta and later translated in English by Zeba Ali, an NLP Practitioner & a psychology professor.)
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